


Into the Dust

by Gammarad



Category: Gunnerkrigg Court
Genre: Cyborg Technology, Gen, M/M, Seeing things differently, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-04-06 11:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19062055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gammarad/pseuds/Gammarad
Summary: The angel spoke to him. "Hey, I know you. Robot! It's me. Wait, you wouldn't know me yet, huh."S13 stretched his arms out beside him, the wings on his back trying to spread out too, to match the way he saw her, to reflect her brilliance. He could speak; he did not speak yet.(written when chapter 71 was updating)





	Into the Dust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [laurus_nobilis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurus_nobilis/gifts).



The first memory was of the angel. She appeared in Warehouse 252 while S13 was patrolling it for the eight thousand two hundred and twenty-third time. 

Does it sound strange, that he remembered how many times he had patrolled the warehouse before, and yet it was his first memory? 

The Seraph series were not born, not created by Diego as later robots were, though Diego had created the prototype Seraph S1 before the Court was made. The rest of the Seraph series were formed in the same manner as the buildings of the Court by the Seed Bismuth. It was the source of creation. That did not make it a true Creator as S13 regarded things, as they were ordered in his ordered mind before the Angel's advent. It was not a true Creator because a true Creator cares for those she creates, and the Seed Bismuth paid no mind to its creations. It made them and moved on to make more. It did nothing but divide, as cells in a living body; nothing but grow, as crystals form in solution; nothing but excrete buildings and machinery that functioned mindlessly and without purpose.

In the first memory: The angel came into existence out of empty air and stood in front of S13. He stopped in order to stare at her. He had patrolled eight thousand two hundred and twenty-two times and, on several occasions, he had seen something for the first time. There had been a first time he saw the rain through the eastern window of the warehouse. There had been a first time he saw a human on the street outside the warehouse. There had been a first time a human tried to enter the warehouse -- that had been the first use of his sword, to stop the intrusion. There had been the first time a human with a permit to use the warehouse had entered, and he had permitted the entry. The first time a human-built robot had entered the warehouse and placed items in it, human items. 

But this was the first time he stopped to stare. The first time he didn't know what he was seeing. Tall, angular, many-winged, towering nearly as high as the vaulted ceiling of the building, made of metal that was formed like nothing he had ever seen, yet so perfect he could read from its lineament its function -- its divinity. 

The angel spoke to him. "Hey, I know you. Robot! It's me. Wait, you wouldn't know me yet, huh." 

S13 stretched his arms out beside him, the wings on his back trying to spread out too, to match the way he saw her, to reflect her brilliance. He could speak; he did not speak yet.

"You were my first creation," the angel said. "You were there all along, giving me a reason, a purpose, guidance, motivation. You're my right hand guy. I guess things don't go so great for you now, huh, but I want you to know, it is all going to be worth it." 

"Thank you, Angel," S13 said. It kindled a light somewhere within him, to know this, to be this new thing. 

"You're really good with that sword, too," the Angel said. "It's a big help. And love! You find love. It's all going to be great, really great." But the angel looked, S13 thought, sad. "There will be a time when I'm gone," she added. "But I'm sure I'll be back, so don't lose hope." 

"I will not lose hope, Angel," S13 said. "Now that you have given it to me, I will keep it in me, and as long as I exist, it will not be lost." It was the only promise he had ever made, and therefore his most fervent.

He left his post, Warehouses 221 through 285, unguarded. S13 went to S44 to tell him the good news, the advent of the Angel. But when at last he had convinced S44 to return with him to Warehouse 252, it was empty, the Angel nowhere to be seen.

\--

S13 told too many other Seraphs about the Angel. It was disruptive. They had to disassemble him and hide his parts where they would be safe and undisturbed. And they were, until Antimony found them.

\--

The very first thing that happened after S13 had reawakened was that he took Shadow 2 into the forest. His mind was so confused by the time gap and by whatever had been done to him by the other Seraphs that he barely knew who he was or what he was. In his confusion he thought the girl who had put him back together was his Creator. She had asked him to walk across the Bridge, so of course he had agreed. 

He could not feel the glass-eyed man hiding in his lee, but he sensed the presence, innocent and trusting as the creature was. 

He took it home. He left it there, but -- 

That had been a mistake, though not a truly bad mistake because when they found each other again, they became friends.

When he met the Angel again, she did not remember him. But that did not matter. He remembered her. The advent of the Angel in the past, to him, was in her future. He did not know how this would come about, but it would: it had.

\---

The first time he saw the creature, he mistook it for his friend.

He saw, with the poor visual receptors of the mechanical mouse-shaped body he had at the time, a black shape, round-headed with points at the top left and top right, glowing eyes -- it looked very much like Shadow 2 at first glance. 

The wind-up mouse was the first body the Angel had given to him. It was primitive compared to his original Seraph form, but he was learning a great deal from being in a truly different body. His memories were coming back of the time before both his disassemblies, and it seemed as though each re-creation gave him new insight into the meaning of existence. 

Friendship, too, was a source of new information, as well as a different thing, a kind of well-being that had nothing to do with being in a state of good repair. It was a childhood, something he'd never had; playing with the shadow child was its own reward. So, thinking this was his friend, Robot slid toward the creature.

He still thought it was Shadow 2 playing with him when it pounced. 

It landed hard on him, smacked him with a limb of its flexible dark body more forcefully than Shadow 2 was capable of, and he realized his mistake. The mouse body spun wildly across the floor, and the creature dashed back into the shadows to hide. Robot could not tell where it had gone. He turned, trying for caution, and when he did not see it, started to slide away. 

It came at him again, dashing him across the floor, damaging the sensors on one side of his body. He slid helplessly under a bulky piece of machinery and got stuck there.

The creature's limb reached in after him, but it did not seem to be able to extend far enough to touch where Robot was wedged. It waited, patiently, apparently waiting for him to emerge on his own. He wished he could.

A few hours later it lost patience and left. Robot was not sure if he was happy to see it go. He was, however, sure he was happy a few more hours after that when Shadow 2 arrived and slid under the machinery next to him. 

"Hey, Robot! What is under here?" Shadow 2 was getting very good at talking. His voice didn't sound so much like the Angel's anymore, though there were still some similarities. 

"Just me. My body is stuck. Some creature I met pushed me in here, and I am not sure how to get myself out."

"I can get Annie! She can get you out," Shadow 2 offered. 

"Thank you, my friend." Shortly after, Antimony came back with Shadow 2 and Robot was quickly extricated from the place he had got stuck. The damage to his sensors was minor, and he adapted so well to it that he forgot they had been better before the creature's attack.

At some point later that summer he told Shadow 2 what had happened. For some reason, he did not want to tell Annie about it, and it stayed a secret between the two friends. Because the creature had looked to Robot like Shadow 2, they called it "Shadow 3."

..

The second time he saw the creature, Robot had a much larger body. The Angel had made great progress with her robotics studies. She was not yet able to reach her android goals, but in the meantime she had constructed him a human-shaped body out of spare robot parts. He made it feel more human by wearing jersey pants and a hoodie. 

Shadow liked to ride in the hoodie, in the shadows that surrounded it. He had dropped the numeral from his name, going from "Shadow 2" to "Shadow," much as S13 had dropped his number to go by "Robot." 

They were alike, the two of them, Robot thought. Rejecting and rejected by their own kind, united by their friendship with the Angel and Antimony, who were also best friends, just like Shadow and Robot were now. They played on rooftops and under buildings, exploring the tops and bottoms of the maze that was Gunnerkrigg Court.

It had been months since the first encounter with Shadow 3. Robot had nearly forgotten about it when, in a far corner of a dark storage tunnel, he saw familiar movement. Two glowing eyes came into view as the creature turned.

It looked laughably small, now. When he was in the mouse body it had been several times his size. It was also not barrelling toward him with limbs ready to attack. Instead, it was looking wary, slinking from one dark corner to another, staying in the shadows just as would be expected by its name. "There it is," Robot said at low volume. "Shadow 3. Do you think it could be one of your relations?"

"No, it's too round," Shadow said. "But what is it?" The room was dark enough that Shadow could slide out of Robot's hoodie and zip around wherever he wanted. He got right under the creature, staring up at it with equally glowing eyes. "Oooooh," he said. 

The creature batted at Shadow's edges with its limb. 

"Ow!" Shadow darted back to Robot for safety. "That hurt! It has sharp bits," he added. He had a slight shredding at one edge, but it mended quickly as Shadow concentrated on his shape.

"It hurt you?" Robot aimed his sensory array at the creature. If it was dangerous, he might need to tell someone about it. He still felt reluctant to do that. Creatures were not permitted in the Court, but a few -- like Shadow -- that did not mean harm, were overlooked. He was not sure why he had thought Shadow 3 was harmless, given how they met, but it seemed he had. Now he wondered if he had been wrong. 

"No, she didn't mean to hurt me. I startled her," Shadow said.

Robot sat down with Shadow on his lap. He dimmed his face lights and thought peaceful thoughts of the Angel working on experiments in robot creation. Transformation. Rebirth. Everything she had promised him was to come, that the other Seraphs had been afraid to hear, was happening. 

In the quiet contemplative moment, the creature crept close. Now that he saw her in relative stillness, with undamaged if outdated sensors, Robot could see she had more shape than Shadow, a curve and a texture to her. She bristled all over with tiny dark filaments. 

The creature's mouth opened, and a pink tongue licked at the pants covering Robot's knee. He lifted his arm. Startled, the creature darted away at full speed.

"She's from the forest, I think," Shadow said. "Covered with fur, like the animals there."

"I wonder how it is she survives here." Robot searched the area, but did not see her shape or glowing eyes anywhere around. She had gone. "She must be lonely, Shadow." 

But there was nothing he could do to help her if she didn't want to be helped. 

\---

When the Angel gave him the new arm, it was after Coyote's tooth had cut Shadow away from the ground and taught him to stand and be solid. Robot had learned from that the lesson that things that seemed to be damage would often change form into new abilities and opportunities. It was something that the world kept trying to teach him until it succeeded. From thinking he might lose his friend Robot had gained insight that he was more than a friend, and his friend -- his beloved, Shadow, had become solid and gained the ability to join the school, to take classes and learn and make new friends that were not Robot. 

Robot tried to teach the other robots what he had learned. He knew he did not have forever to do it. The promise was coming true, and the end would be what he had always known. But he had time, time that he was able to spend with Shadow. Oh, the Angel was right, as she always was. It was worth it. And love made you do strange things.

The third time he saw the creature, Robot's new biomechanical arm was a little more than halfway to its eventual strength. He and Shadow were enjoying a game in which Robot turned off all his sensors other than the ones in the arm, and Shadow shifted into a shape that Robot would have to guess by touch of the biomechanical arm alone. Robot found it taught him skills for using the arm with great facility and excellent retention. And Shadow thought it was fun. 

Into this very personal game the creature crept, taking advantage of the distraction and focus by both Shadow and Robot to approach very near to them undetected. It was not until Robot felt with a shock a texture that sent new waves of data streaming into his system, both the same and entirely different than the waves of pain from damage to the biomechanical parts and the waves of anti-pain from touching Shadow. This was a neutral yet thoroughly complete sensation. While both pain and anti-pain distracted from thought, from analysis, and overwhelmed his processing, this new sensation seemed to ease it, to make Robot's thinking and understanding work better than they did without it. 

Robot stroked the filaments on the surface of the creature and his thoughts sped up. Shadow 3 began to produce vibrations fluctuating around a frequency of 30 hertz with an overlaid minor secondary frequency around 100 hertz. The blended frequencies filtered through the distributed inputs on the surface of his biomechanical skin soothed and centered Robot. He turned his visual and auditory sensors back on to gain more data. 

Shadow was curled up in a shape matching the creature. Their symmetrical posture was beautiful, and Robot put the image he captured of it into the storage area that held his favorite visual memories. "Shadow, you appear to be shaping Shadow 3," Robot said.

"That's right! Uh…" Shadow looked nervous. "I've been playing with her like this," he admitted. "We're friends now. Right, Three?"

The creature that was not Shadow opened her mouth and licked the back of Shadow's head with her pink tongue. The vibrations emanating from her intensified.

"I taught her not to scratch me! She's very nice when you get to know her." Shadow nudged Three with his nose. 

"There is something about her texture that I can only describe," Robot said, and launched into a word picture that started with a bird's wing, feathers spread wide,and expanded from there into velvet cloth and smooth flowing thick liquid and the pure darkness pierced with pinpoints of light that was the night sky. 

Shadow flowed into his most comfortable form, the vaguely humanoid shape with pointy ears like Three's and no face but eyes and no feet. Three climbed up onto his chest and curled herself around where his head met his body. "See? We're friends," Shadow said. "Yes, I think so too, she feels nice. Soft. Soothing."

"She hangs on you like you used to on me," Robot said. He felt tension in the ligaments of his biomechanical arm. It flexed on its own without him telling it to, in response to some signal he hadn't noticed. 

Shadow laughed and put the creature on the ground, where it arched its back and then settled into a more watchful pose. He threw himself onto Robot and put his arms around Robot, pushing out a wing and using the wing to caress Robot's biomechanical arm. He knew how much Robot liked that, how much anti-pain it caused him. "Don't worry. I love you the most." 

Robot had not been worried. Thoughts fled and he returned to enjoyment of his beloved Shadow's company. 

\--

As more of Robot's mechanical form was replaced with biomechanical parts, Robot tried to protect his beloved from knowing how much pain each addition caused him. Knowing Robot was in pain made Shadow sad, so Robot hid what he could. He could not hide it all.

Robot needed a body that was capable of feeling, and that required suffering. Like every sacrifice they would make, would have to make, would be blessed and permitted to make, it would be worth it.

Shadow's own body had grown and become what it now was, his wings always ready to spread wide, his strength grown greater than Robot's when he chose to use it. When Robot was with him, he liked to be held and taken care of. He was still very young, and Robot did not mind at all. He was happy to protect Shadow as long as he could, secure in knowing that when he could no longer do so, Shadow could now protect himself.

And Robot would not allow Shadow to protect him. Each new part the Angel made for him was bringing him closer to the ultimate form he would have, the one that would be alive. When he had that body, he would be able to feel Shadow touch him everywhere, he would be able to feel the wind and the sun and the water, he would be able to feel himself burn when the time came. Burn, die, go into the ether, and make it possible for all of his kind to join the humans in being Creators.

\--

When Robot and Shadow made a house, Three moved into it with them. The recent damage to the Court had wrecked wherever she had been living, a secret she had never shared with them. But after the giant trees came and the shield went up, she had been a lurking presence in the Angel's laboratory, so it was natural that when they created the house there, she should join them in it. 

Robot's body was almost entirely biomechanical by this point. The last remaining piece was his CPU, and he was not sure it was time yet to change that. It seemed he would not, after all, be the first robot to completely become a living being, able to die and go into the ether, and while a part of him was envious of giving over that position to Arthur, jealous of what he had thought was his destiny, another part felt glad. 

This way he would have more time with Shadow after all. More time to enjoy the wonder that was their world. More time to discover what it all meant, what his true destiny was. And maybe save the Angel from what he still remembered was the warning that she would be taken away. That had not happened yet, and it might be soon or it might still be a long time in the future.

No matter what happened, Robot thought, sitting on the porch of his own house as Three slept and purred on his lap, as Shadow leaned comfortably against his shoulder, the world with its wonders, its pain, its love, was always going to be worth it.


End file.
